It only takes a little light to help those thingies, and smoke detectors provide more than a little. See? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. I sincerely appologize if anyone is offended by my view of memorization. Almost all of the really long sentences are under 1,000 words. For that matter, how do you know that ANYTHING but you exists! I can't remember what I was gonna rant about. It's just weird. Stock up now with our Valu-Pak to recieve 3-metric tons of Ketchup, all for the low, low price of your brain, since you're obviously not using it anyway. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! One of these people (who shall remain nameless untill such time that I have explicit permission to use her name) turned out to be almost as weird as me. In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light help night-vision cameras see in the dark? I've heard of poems and stuff written by people who were high, insane or paranoid. That's funny!!!! They are not great neccesarily because of the content, (although that helps some) they are great because of their sheer length. The movie ends with him in a coma. of toilet paper, to do everything. Second of all, you would have to have the patience to read through all of this. You would have to have several characteristics that I possess. That's it, I'm gonna take drastic measures! We'd probably go crazier. The end is not here. There's strawberry pie, apple, pumpkin and so many others, but there is no grape pie! The six longest sentences (1,000+ words) are mostly a curiosity, just to see what is possible. It's hard to type because of the bandaid on my finger. there were lots of fireworks. I am back. I've just gotten an idea for some more, original, fortunesI gotta go! The form link is to a 100% fake TAB registration form that you can fill out just for laughs. It's an honest question as I fear that my non-gender specific sibling is weird. Then they add other "stuff" in to make it TASTE pure. These "faeries" sprinkle your food with highly toxic "age dust" and ruin a perfectly good four-year-old meatloaf. I'm fairly certain she knows it's not alive, though. These people have obviously suffered major brain damage from their prolonged exposure to the sun. I'm back. I promise. That's talent. You mean that I'm just randomly responding regardless of your reactions? You're great tradition is being carried out here, on the second most pointless site ever! Some people disagree, the director of the Kansas Geological Survey said "I think this is part of a vast breakfast food conspiracy to denigrate Kansas. That will be a wonderous day. I've decided to imortalize the stupidity of my dog, Moose. if you like our Facebook fanpage, you'll receive more articles like the one you just read! But I'm sure that if I just would have put my mind to it, I could have done it. Fighting in the American Civil War? And I asked myself "How could I have better spent my time?" Keep pressing it. And hotand smoky. And I feel that it's time for a FAKE commercial break, for the highly informed, obviously brain-dead consumer. Python | Thou shalt not eat spuds. Everything is fine. She answered: England, Russia, and (out of sheer desperation) Iraq. Now, those have possibilities. Sorry if I complained a lot. After all, look how long this text is. Longest Sentence - Pastebin.com I'm leaving nowI have some destruction to do. I sure hope other zoos won't copy them. Wellseeya! Every single person you know could just be figments of your imagination, you could even be in a crazy house! [1], As a result, one linguistics textbook concludes that, in theory, "there is no longest English sentence. I get home from work at 5:30p.m. I bet you were just breathless in anticipation. The world's longest non-life sentence, according to the "Guinness Book of Records", was imposed on Thai pyramid scheme fraudster Chamoy Thipyaso, who was jailed for 141,078 years in 1989. Or, at the very least, not label it as "pure". I mean, after all, I made this site. Founder @ World's Best Story amplifier of creativity & fun! It was sad. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. Wow. This would have resulted in the deaths of numerous pedistriansand I would still probably be wondering around in search of a McDonalds. *hides large ax behind back* Come here, topic! My favorite stuffJTHMI have my libraries copy of JTHMI shall quote Noodle Boy for you:) (Full copyright/credit to Jonhnen Vasquez for writin' the stuff, I'm just sharing the spleeny goodness with you). That was sort of a topic, even though it was sort of random. I don't suppose you fell for that little thing about the refresh button. Who'da thought it? Now I want you to go to http://quiz.ravenblack.net/blood.pl?biter=eon" If you do this I'll get points in the game. Or whatever. But, maybe that's just the difference between you and me. I pity them, I really do. Okay. And mildly weirded-out. And more than slightly embarassed. | 13.41 KB, JSON | Also, I guess I still am trying to get the world record. I'd probley come here, but that isn't much of a surprise. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. I'm goin' light on the advertising at the moment, which is why I'm free to write here. I'm not exactly sure who they are, but: thanks! Not only that, but there are an infinite number of different kinds of intelligent life. Makes you think that the long held belief that Kodak conspired with the JFK assasin(s) is normal. By continuing to use Pastebin, you agree to our use of cookies as described in the. longest text ever (most deleted bc max 40000 letters) - reddit Unless someone does something, Neo, Morpheus and many others will die. Is it possible to make less sense? i felt sorry for my dad. *waits for readers to become insanely jealous* Yep, that's right, a bar with a pool table! I'm just basically typing nothing. It's not fair. His syntax has a way of weaving itself into the unconscious, emerging as fair to middling imitation. I just keep going, and going and going. I gave him cupcakes, and presents, and did everything I could to befriend him! *g8ggles* bye. Aren't they regressed to a child-like state? as many times as possible before you splattered your brains on the rocks, all the while listening to a soundtrack that is similar to a dying ceiling fan. Right now, while you are sitting in your "chair" and eating your "junk food", millions of almonds are commiting suicide. Fire is good. This is too frustrating. OOooooo! Any derogatory statement is simply an opinion of an individual, not of the flaming order of the flaming chickens. It's time to warn you, the viewererreaderabout the evils of various stuff. Space is notorious for not having air. If you can spare any of these items, please e-mail them to me. Either way, he got assasinated. Did you understand that? What's that. Of course, there is also regretafter all, I could have made a fortune if I'd been the first to think of it. I know, I'll start of list of why it's fun/good to be insane/weird! This sentence makes strategic use of the past perfect, two times. Pikachu! Come on, think about it! What if the smoke detectors have tiny litte cameras in them? I believe that she was just listing countries she knows America has fought against. Uhdon't think soNumber Four: I could have learned to drive. What if, eventually, Earth's gravity get's very very strong, and we all imploud from the squishyness? I'm back. *sigh* There are no topics anywhere near me. the whole time, even during the name-calling, seniors were playing with silly string and beachballs. Oh, yeah! Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. maybe the longest text ever. Now MY brain meats feel explody. Did you know, that Kodak was part of the conspiracy to assasinate John F. Kennedy. Or, as an alternative, I could have ruined several plans for world domination that other people made. The World's Largest Maths Problem Has Been Solved, And It. I can even see the shadow of my hand on the wall from the light those things shed. But true. RANDOM PERSON: You don't say? Pastebin . I think. My dadwas on this site. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! Jonathan Coes The Rotters Clubends with a 33-page long whopper with 13,955 words in it. Trinity, who is of course outside of the Matrix, knows this and chooses to enter the Matrix to save the day. It's just sickening, you can't even take a simple photo nowadays. Get the best cultural and educational resources delivered to your inbox. You could be floating out in empty space, conjuring nice little fantasies to relieve the monotony of being the only living being! Chomp" And he bites it. Confusing, huh? Longest English sentence - Wikipedia This means that we only have a very short while to prepare. Now, you may be wondering what is so terrifying about a small, white, feather. Death is like life in that after you die some things start life again inside of you. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. It's pushing down on me, squishing my spine. I WANT to write. *normal voice* Today I have a very important to discuss with you in this: PERFECTLY NORMAL PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT. AhhhI see your confusion! consisting of 1,288 words and who knows how many different kinds of clauses. Far away. 10 Longest Known Sentences in English - Largest.org Okay, quote is done. The entire message board was like one big insane asylum. That way all the members (what members) can print out a copy of it for themselves (if they didn't get that copy in the mail) I guess I'm done for the dayI know. I just don't know. Today, I was checking out some weird news. Here I am, trying to get a decent nights sleep and there's this green light that periodically blinks to red directly in front of me. But somewhere, it exists. They may go to a resteraunt with an arcarde, or the movies or to a theme park. Enjoy! Emma has contributed to various art and culture publications, with an aim to promote and share the work of inspiring modern creatives. That means I really can justify claiming to have two and a half readers! And I sugest that we build the rocket so that we can go to the Official Flaming Chickens Lunar Colony so that we can laugh at the stupid earthlings who are blowing up because they didn't listen to us when we tried to warn them about the impending doom! It makes sense, though. I'm just as upset about this unfortunate lack of development in the pie division. That's what they need to do with the water. (Like alternate dimensions and stuff) So, there is a world where you are the creator of this Longest Text Ever. Faulkners intimacy is not earnestness, it is the uncanny feeling of a raw encounter with a nerve center lighting up with information, all of it seemingly critically important. That's just how many times you have to click before you can leave. Especially that duct tape. I think it's pretty funny. I gotta go. This has been bothering me for a while. Before we knew it, we were on the road. At least her's makes sensesort of. TACO will eventually destroy him. Hey, I'm once again: back. I figure that even the people I manage to lure onto my site from neopets don't even bother to come to this particular page. When someone of her generation runs for president, I'm gonna do a complete background check. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. WE got it at Wal-mart. while others are thinking "Who's John F. After all, I'm talking to you, aren't I? 3,861 . Seeya. So the (smallest number) + (middle number) = (largest number) The number 3, 4 and 5 satisfy this condition 3 + 4 = 5 because 3 = 3 x 3 = 9 4 = 4 x 4 = 16 5 = 5 x 5 = 25 and so . Try it. YES, I'M YELLING! Using prior knowledge, I deduced that Mrs. X was full of crap. Why can't I have more readers?! "Yep, Bill, time to dump the arsnic in so it tastes pure!" *there's that darn cricket again* And I have a genuine question to ask all of my loyal readers *cough-cough* Okay, here it is: Is it normal for a non-gender specific sibling to carry around various dead reptiles (snakes, turtles, lizards etc.) Random people will think they've gone crazy, after a seemingly innocent visit to the zoo. So, fellow conspiracy nuts: Take down the evil governmental safety device and take it apart. But, whatever. I don't care if I'd get home only an hour or so before I normaly do. You have to admit its sheer coolness. Why, the assasinating annoying cartoon characters buisness. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. *nods* I thought so. To compound the EVIL situationI was forced to wear feminine shoes. Out of sheer curiosity, I asked Mrs. X who participated in the Civil War. Should you violate this right, you will become destroyed or possibly dizzy. 189,819 Letters Yes, that number is correct. There ARE aliens. So, predictably, here I am. Anyway, I just finished rereading my longest text ever. i'll copy and paste this to my site. And "Mr. Owl" replies "OneTwooThree! PlusI gots oblimagationsobligaton.obligations to this site. No? But the secret doesn't exist so they are stupid. I salute those people. Good. And so, in the interest of wasting even more time, I made a list. Or suffer my blindingly moronic nail messages. I am writing to let you know that I have received an email from {name of recipient}. Would it be cheating to fill it out again? I know where you are right now! Or maybe you're just skimming. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. I'll only say that it was the first game you could "talk" to and was the first (and only) N64 virtual pet. Now, wasn't that entertainment. Did I resume asking retorical questions? Advertisement. Yep. What a good idea! Did you know that statistics prove that 45% of all statistics are completly made up by me (The Patron Saint of Paperclips)? I'M FINE! Hmmmmmhas any old, senile person ever written anything? There are now longer sentences in English writing. Did you know that I now possess a DOMAIN NAME? Sometimes I crack myself up. Then I do my homework. Because that would be impossible. Yea, me! * IT'S NOT FAIR! You don't belong here. With an infinite universe, there are infinite possibilites. And lastly, you'd have to know where the heck this site is. RANDOM PERSON: *head explouding from sheer insanity* As you can see, I was a very weird child (this happened in elementary schooluhexcept for that head-explouding part). Neo is told that he has two choices. A complete and total degregation of our societies values. End of story. It's amazing, it's incredible, it's unbelievable. William Faulkner in 1954 (Photo: Wikimedia Commons Public Domain)This post may contain affiliate links. You see, if the universe is indeed infinite, that means that literally EVERYTHING is possible, and in fact, is happening somewhere in the universe. That way I can just outlaw the need for gravity and air pressure! I even impress myself. It is the extraordinary sensory quality of his prose that enabled Faulkner to get away with writing the longest sentence in literature, at least according to the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records, a passage from Absalom, Absalom! Warning* Extremely long pasta. The sleeping person will gradually get used to it (and incorporate it into their dreams). Yeaha topic would be good. My calculator is nifty. Am I enjoying asking retorical questions? i hate dress shoes. And I feel weird! Welltwo can play by THOSE rules. Or his mom did. I hate Math. This entry went from saluting the PSOA to making a statement about my ideals. Is that too much to ask? (Believe me, though, you never want to see me driveI get easily distracted by clouds and signs saying FREE KITTIES!kitties are hugablebut if you hug themthey'll scratch your eyes outso then you have to hiss at them and establish dominencebut kitties don't like thateven though dogs dobut kitties are obviously not dogseven though they are fuzzy.) OH, SO SPLENDID!! Plus, the kids at the daycare (where I work, obviously) say that I'm "cool to talk to". I am so buying this movie when it comes out on DVD. Shame on you! Number Five: I could have read more books, played more video games and watched more mindless television. Just like all those reports people have to do. Or possibly rightthat would be scary. "Mr. Owl, can you tell us how many licks does it take to get to the bottom of a tootsie pop?" hello, I like to play Fortnite it is a really good game. Right now. Number One: I could have cured cancer. The following is an extremely weird poem-thingy that I wrote when I was in a relatively weird mood: never mind that noise my dear can anyone pass the cheese only if you say pretty please oh, boy do I have to sneeze. OkayI'm backI think that eventually half of this thing will consist of the word back over and over againthat's just weird. That would explain that annoying green little blinkie light in them. Are you happy? That's why it's here, and not some critically acclaimed site. With a shake, the future is revealed! Called the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem, it was Solve Now. Cheese is not a wild thing!!!!!!!!! No guarantee that he'll succeed in saving Trinity. Word Counter - Word Count Tool (Upload 50+ Files at once) - Pre Post SEO But I couldn't have sung it 'cause it would have woken everyone up and they would have called me inconsiderate. We have ZIM, neopets, music, and much, much, more. and " You think Jenny's weird? I have to wonderwhy would Kodak do such a thing. WAIT JUST A POLYP PICKING MINUTE!! They give lots and lots of homework. Have you ever had the evil pop-up that says that if you click here, it'll get rid off all the annoying pop-ups? And then go door to door distributing it. OR something. I can just see Hot Dog, and Pizza trucks roaming the neighbor hoods, selling treats to hungry childrenand adults. Login Sign up. Because what you're saying is that I'm talking to people in the future. No, we got the greatest family outing of all. Ketchup: The only food that you'll want to eat after traveling to the 5th Dimension. But wait! Back to the original topic! I'll just go on and on about how crazy you COULD be. That way, she can pass the test without actually learning anything. It's a cheap shot." And ever loony in America decided that it was a conspiracy. And because she was the head fasion bimbo, everyone agreed that the look was definitly "in". I'm so special. So rather than battle her over the concept of getting dressed in the dark, I get up. The researches even used highly advanced technololgy to map the surface of a pancake and compare it to documented geology of Kansas. You don't have the best life of your counterparts, but you don't have the worst either. NowI know what you guys are thinkingsome of those items on that list are gonna be hard to find. I don't exactly have a good track record with virtual pets. How can any company that takes so many "wholesome" pictures not be? Today I had the misfortune of playing a Treasure Planet game on neopets.com It was terrible. *sniffle* i do, too. HA! Subliminal messages are an advertising technique that puts hidden pictures and words into a main image. All the good possibilities effectivly cancel out the bad ones, leaving the sum total of you and your counterparts experiences as nothing. But everything else I've said so far is true. The workers would then be able to afford more entertainment items and the upward spiral would continue, as opposed to the evil downward spiral of my writing. It's strange. How can you pass up this revolutionary new product? Now who's the crazy one? To support Open Cultures educational mission, please consider, When William Faulkner Set the World Record for Writing the Longest Sentence in Literature: Read the 1,288-Word Sentence from, 100+ Online Degree & Mini-Degree Programs. Hi, I'm back. Is that old lady on the street corner really an ex-convict? I'm leavingnow I'm back! That's why. Why, that would be insane, wouldn't it? He then leaves them under his owners car. She'll shake and run from it, then suddenly dive and bite it's head. Okay, better leave. Then he preceeded to trash my room, scattering kleenex everywhere. It'll be covered in chicken feathers, and shaped like a chicken. It's been pretty quiet here lately, which is why I haven't added anything to this text in awhile. Longest Sentence By Rebecca Jones, Arts Correspondent. Although I can't see why you care, because there is a large probability that you do not exist, because I don't think anyone is reading this anymore. Thank you for sending me this email. I want SOME free time. Food industires would be buying cars, gas and music. Right? 17 min ago I'm getting bored, so I think I'm done for the day. Or, would that be good? I mean, I've been doing this much, much longer than the other person. I put hyphens in both of his titlesit must be a conspiracy! Or not. "Pure" water manufactuerers are not required to list the ingredients of water, because the average consumer believes that it should be obvious. Sofor the first time in about 5 yearsI wore a dressand something that was complelty white. Out loud. See? Is your school playground a gateay to the underworld? Except for maybe five and six. There is a world where you are a slave to your TOASTER OVEN. I also would like such persons to immediatly leave my site. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. *content sigh* There we gothat's much better. It's a small light, but it's sooooooo annoying. Yeahthatguyyou know who I'm talking about. And on to: Number Eight: I could haveuhhhhummmmmactually thought up these things before hand. You can read a little each day. Kennedy?" Would it vary? I gives you imaginary IOU'shereyours. That had nothing to do whatsoever with subliminal messagesit's just cool to say. As Neo realizes all of this, through a nearly omniscient Architect of the Matrix, he makes another choice. Why on earth would we go have way across the world to fight them when we didn't even really need oil?!! There is a world where you were never born. Bye! Well, look at you? So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! What is the alternative, you ask? Towards the end of the movie, Neo chooses to tell Trinity to stay out of the Matrix, since he saw her die in it. After all, I've been to the Really Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything website over 50 times. In any case, I hope you enjoyed our patheticness. It tells me stuff like: "Warning: More Solutions May Exist" and "Questionable Accuracy". If you make a purchase, My Modern Met may earn an affiliate commission. Doesn't that just make you proud to be weird? But none have struck terror in her little moose heart like this particular feather. I don't know if Iraq even existed in the Civil War Era! Sign Up , it unlocks many cool features! I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! It also shows the total number of sentences in a text file. SEEYA! Isn't vast a funny word? I have very low expectations of my site. Seeya. Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paper Clips (thats me) is allowed to cause vague, pain like sensations while the offending person (or alien life form, dog, etc.) I'm sure some so called "scientist" can prove all my theories wrongbut how? These cookies do not store any personal information. I think I'm so tired I can't sleep. We accept PayPal, Venmo (@openculture), Patreon and Crypto! PARTS BREAK AFTER OVERUSE!! But I must. But, if you expect something and get something you feel nothing. Just like thos so called "diet supplements" that give you a "free" sample because they know that once you try it, you'll like it so much you'll spend oodles of cash on it. I didn't know that they had such good technology back then. You must be pretty bored, too. It was fun. *sniffle* I just want to have some FREAKIN' variety in my daily grind, you know? In obscure cookbooks. I previous time when I was studying with her (American Revolution, this time) I was trying to help her remember the difference between the Patriots(Patriotic to America) and the Loyalists (Loyal to Britain) She didn't know what the word patriotic meant. Did I mention that, yet. * (*Not a guarantee) (Next commercial)Have you ever wondered why food sometimes goes bad in your fridge, even if you've only had it a few years? They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. This resourceful young vanguard of fasion decided to cover her extreme embarassment by acting like she meant to horribly damage herself. And once again suprised. Pop-Up ad's help you get rid of pop-up ads? I've always known that I was weird, that's always been a given. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. This is a test, I repeat only a test. *giggling* It's very, very late at nite. School is taking its toll. But, for a time, Faulkner took the run-on as far as it could go. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. Confusing Sentences That Actually Make Sense While you wait for yesterday's tomorrow, lunge back and remember that day. All rights reserved. It's creepy. BoyI really enjoy confusing myself! *nods* Well, yeahI KNOW I'm actually typing instead of talking. In any case, my theory means that playing video games is very cruel. Either way, I'm continuing to sort of entertain myself. But without the bad sound track. I'm back! The World's Longest Sentence (5237 words) by Mark Virtue (1980, aged 15) Once upon a while back there was an ambitious contortionist who made up his mind he would try to conquer the twenty-seventh highest dead volcano on Neptune, with his tongue secretly hiding behind his overweight postman's Swedish Hi-Fi set and the shoelaces of his Persian . that was recognised in the 1983 Guinness Book of World Records was the longest ever written. We thank you! HOW, I ask you!? Today I will be mercifully brief. But then, I'm meand you're you. We become indebted to. The food was superb, (our food came the exact opposite of how we ordered it, and half of the onion rings were missing) Then we joyfully returned to our game(my sister and the ex-con played my mom) We spent hours there (from 5p.m.-7:15p.m.) That my words somehow travel accross time (if only a few minutes) and are somehow picked up by future you, and that my responses are dictated by future you's reactions. We never spam. Or, if I was weirder than I am, I could at least kill the monkey with the organ and eat it. My mom and my stupid little 10-year old sister loves it, though. TWEET. This naturally alarmed the HECK out of me! I have readers. You're only browsing it. Shoot them down like the dogs they are! and Jones: Sho, Kernel; sho now and catching him as he fell and commandeering the first passing wagon to take him to the house and carry him up the front steps and through the paintless formal door beneath its fanlight imported pane by pane from Europe which Judith held open for him to enter with no change, no alteration in that calm frozen face which she had worn for four years now, and on up the stairs and into the bedroom and put him to bed like a baby and then lie down himself on the floor beside the bed though not to sleep since before dawn the man on the bed would stir and groan and Jones would say, flyer I am, Kernel.