I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. No, not really. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. But, if they were, it would be a valid reason for them taking so long to reply. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. No? It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. Moving in with Roommates? 1. Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". If I had a tail, I'd wag it. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. The music billboard charts got it wrong! It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. Better inside than outside. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition 56. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. *Siri activates front camera*. 2. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! Discover what these funny, yet morbid, jokes about burial and death have in common in this hilarious piece about "Alive Jokes". If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Perhaps it will encourage them to respond quicker in the future. Synonyms for Still Alive (other words and phrases for Still Alive). Theyre incapacitated when it comes to sending a simple text, yet they can Insta their whole day. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. 52. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Nowadays, potential mates need money. 5 Foolproof Opening Texts to Amp Up Her Attraction FAST - Gotham Club I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. 88. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. I just adore my own company. I dont feel that great, but look! People tend to ask the same questions whenever you see them, which is why you should have a few different replies to "How are you?" Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. If your crush asks you how you are, you might as well be honest. Not Bad. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Scroll down! When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. Looking at my life, half the time I see that I don't live half of what I should! Your hair looks great! Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. "Yeah, you're three years late. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. 8. 35 Best Replies To "I Miss You" (Cute & Friendly) - Grammarhow You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. 382 Likes, 344 Comments. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Funny as phuck. Image: wikimedia commons 6. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. But Ive also had better. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. The government? 1. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . Stupidity isnt a crime. 3. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. You may join me, though. It's best part of the whole movie. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. I'm fine. With a self-assured stance and casual body language, you won't create any . Dont wake me up yet. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. I'm wondering how you are. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. This is a good response to throw out there. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Could Be Payday. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. - Anonymous. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Are you Jamaican? Is your family tree a cactus? 3. 7. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. 2. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. 1. On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. You speak as if youre not single yourself! What's your favourite "I'd rather die" response alternative? Totally fine! That will ensure there will be at least one man who will regret my death. Heinrich Heine (author), Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth. Ernest Hemingway (author), Its funny the way most people love the dead. Your hair looks great! Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Youre free to go. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." I'm alive! Have you been thinking? Don't Push It Too Far. Financially? If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . 10. Could be payday. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Best Answers to the "What You Do For a Living?" Question This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Some people spend all their time on their phone. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. Check-in later and well find out if I did or not. 4. "You know I can do this anytime.". Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. Death is inevitablesome might even say it is a terminal inconvenience or a reason to suddenly stop sinning. I learned my lesson. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? If I had a tail, I would wag it! You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human Because they are already taking their time. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People It's impossible for things to be perfect. How Am I Still Alive. 10. The best GIFs are on GIPHY. 100 Funny and Witty Quotations About Age and Getting Older - Holidappy [Read: 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass!]. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Steven Wright (comedian). I bet if you stood on a street corner, youd make some money. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. I have been going through GOT in my work life. 9. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". 1. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? However, I dont recall anything about morons. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Congrats, guys! 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 Living the dream! and our 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot 01 "I thought we were both adults but clearly, I was wrong. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. Some good old fashioned sarcasm, there is nothing wrong with it. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Liked what you just read? 50. Are you alive? - Random Answers - Fanpop Everything is always better on payday right!? Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! 45. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! 59. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Sure, we all have things to do, but when someone takes two days to reply, that is a sign that they are the problem. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia 13. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Everyone has a different sense of humor. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Because youre highly qualified. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. I really thought you already knew. Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. I was doing great, before you came. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. I died last week, since then. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Do you have a minute? 82. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. 68. Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. All rights reserved. Stop asking me why Im single! 20. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Not everybody may appreciate them. I'm loved! I'm overqualified! But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Firing back with something a little funny or witty will make them take notice! Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Not. And it's time for me to make my escape. Well, are you? Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Thats why Im single. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? If this doesn't get a response, it's sure to get a laugh. 80. Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. *licks lips*. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Yep, thats about it just a confusing answer. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. He sold it to me on his deathbed. Average, I think, that sounds about right. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people. This one is bound to get a laugh. Me being single is just a conspiracy! The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. Funny Response to "What Are You Doing?" "I cry." Humor is about creating surprises. Now you can be! But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. He will be missed. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. 14. They might even steal it to use in the future. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? 16. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. . My bad, its just your mouth. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." Nasty comebacks dont require a lot of wit; instead, these will land your target flat on their back and wallowing in self pity. In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. 81. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. 65+ Funny Responses to Everyday Questions! - Self Development Journey